Wednesday, October 5, 2011

The Gay Tax Credit

Today a I learned of the so called, "Fat Tax."  Apparently the higher-ups in our country are attempting to impose a tax on high-fat foods.  This is a bad idea.  First of all, I love fat!  The football shaped Oreos I had today were amazing and I'd be very upset if I was unable to eat them at my leisure.  I'm a student of economics and I understand the reasoning of the government.  Raise the marginal cost of an activity and the marginal benefit gets smaller, blah blah blah.  We get it.  But really?  Is it gonna work?  I think not, Oreos are too gosh darn delicious and if they cost me 12 cents more, those 12 cents are coming out of my vegetable fund, because those marginal benefits are already lacking and I want Oreos!  Now imagine the passion of a 300 lbs moody woman who wants her bacon?  Frightening, I know.  All this is going to do is raise crime because the marginal benefits of bacon are far greater than that of robbing the local 7-11.

I propose the Gay Tax Credit.  Such a credit would give gay individuals a tax break for liking men.   Think about it, we are doing the government and the people of this fine nation a service.  We are saving them the trouble of having to pretend to like us.  What if they just gave the gay friendlies a tax perk, and in return we'd stop all the underwear parades.  Oh better yet,  have congress vote on the either the Gay Tax Credit or Gay rights, now that would be a conundrum.

Anyway, moving on.  Clearly I'm being a bit satirical.  Recently in my religion class and during General Conference, all I seemed to hear were the benefits of not being gay.  Every talk seemed to translate into just that, as if to entice me to change my mind.  I kept hearing, "you could be this if your weren't gay"or "look what you could have if you start liking girls."  Unfortunately team it is not that easy.  The world could raise the marginal cost of being gay, and I'd probably stay in the closet forever, or they could lower the marginal cost and raise the benefit (see proposed Gay Tax Credit above) and I'd still probably stay in the closet.  Because I don't care what everybody else thinks.  I care about what I think.

The problem is there.  I care what I think about myself, I care how I feel about being gay, and currently that is up for debate.  The cursed fates just mess with me.  Whenever I think I have my life figured out they throw off the planetaria alignment and disrupt my mojo.  Rude.  I hope one day to understand myself and the complexities within in me.  This post represents that, an attempt to sort out my inner thoughts and see what drives me.  But for some reason all I can think about are the football Oreos in my kitchen.


  1. *sigh* I hear you there about caring how you feel and that being up for debate. It's frustrating!

  2. Best idea for society, EVAH. Let's do it.