Monday, October 24, 2011

The BYU Crowd

Being the stalwart student that I am, I am delaying the homework to write a brief post.  I have a confession.  I finally summoned up the courage to go to the USGA meeting on BYU campus recently, and I have to say I was a bit disappointed.  This could be because I sat in the back and didn't talk to anyone and left early.  Maybe I went on a bad day and need to give it another chance but I don't know.  All that happened was a recap of random news stories on gay topics and some more random youtube videos.  Now, I don't know what normally goes on but I don't think I can take that kind of time out of my schedule to do a review of the weeks news with commentary.  I just don't think I'd fit in.  I'm quite opinionated and it seemed like my opinion was starkly different than those in attendance.  I know someone commented earlier about how they didn't think I was that different from other gay people, but from the ones I've met and talked to, I seem to be very unique.  Don't get me wrong, I wish I had more things in common with my gay friends but so far I've come up empty handed.

I suppose this is what causes me the most grief of all.  I wish I could find some guys here at BYU who liked to ski, exercise, fix cars etc.  I wish I had friends that I could hang out with and not worry about what others may think.  I know I'm not supposed to care what others think but while here at BYU I have no choice, I need friends that aren't going to out me.  Maybe I'm not doing my part.  Maybe I need to give people more of a chance and not stereotype people so quickly, so I'll try to do better. 

8 comments:

  1. Sorry it was a bust, but that took courage. I've considerred going, but I don't think it would be my style. I'm attracted to guys, but I don't necessarily feel the need to talk about it too much. It would be nice just to have people who knew, accepted it, and were there if I did want to talk about it... normal buddies who get it, that's all. I don't know how to go about it though, but I'm sure things will work out. Good luck.

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  2. Last week's meeting fell short for a number of us. Not to mention it got high jacked several times. I've been talking with a few of the people in charge, and we're working on transitioning the entire way meetings work. We would absolutely love to hear more feedback from newcomers like you, though. Why don't you send me an email with some of your thoughts? I'd really like to discuss this further with you.

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  3. I have had a sililar problem all my life. Finding someone in the church that you can trust with anything is very very difficult. Almost seems like in a million. I'm not at BYU but am an active married manin the church who is attracted to men. How do you find a gay man at church? Secret handshake? Anyway I can empethize with your difficulties and wished I had a solution....Adrian

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  4. I'm one of those people in charge. This last week did not go as planned at all. Like Ty said, it was high jacked several times. We didn't even get to do what we had planned. Meetings used to be very different. It was a lot more personal and spiritual and we got become very good friends. As it's gotten bigger and we've all gotten more comfortable with each other, it's changed a lot. The two goals of the group are to create a good safe place where people can come and be themselves, and also to spread that love and understanding to others. Please come again, and come talk to me about it. You should be getting what you want and need out of the group. That's the whole point.

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  5. You sound so much like I did a little more than 25 years ago. I got so frustrated because it seemed hard to find gay guys that wanted to do regular guy stuff. Be patient, they are out there, even at BYU. (I wonder where that guy is now that I met from the tennis team, or the gymnatics dude from further up north...)

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  6. So I'm just repeating what Ty and Bridey said, but last week was a bit of a fluke. In some ways it was downright boring... not to mention it was kind of irritating at times.

    The truth is is that we're struggling to find people that have differing opinions on things. It's what the group desperately needs. It needs to be that place that everyone can go to, not just a certain group with certain beliefs. Hope you'll come by again!

    Seriously, it's frustrating how often this happens.

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  7. Thanks guys. I'm glad to hear that it wasn't the norm. Maybe i'll check it out again.

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  8. Nice post. I hope the group gets better. When I was at the Y, we really didn't have much there, either. The unofficial gay groups were all a waste of time, unless you wanted to be depressed and complain about everything. I know this group has changed that perception.

    As for where you fit in ... isn't is awesome that there is so much diversity, even in the small LDS, gay, BYU, groups?!? Keep being who you are and you'll find some friends with similar interests and viewpoints.

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