Monday, January 31, 2011

Euphoria Comes From the Dentist Not From Coming Out

This morning I sat in fancy dental chair awaiting the verdict on the current state of my teeth.  It had been  3 years (don't judge) since my last cleaning and I had just spent the last 25 minutes getting scraped, poked, scratched, and jabbed by the hygienist.  Thankfully I didn't hear any ominous sighs, gasps, or 'uh-huh's' as the various dental professionals took turns looking in my mouth.  Finally the M.D. D.D.S. walked in took 5 seconds and said, "well the only issue I see is here around [insert medical term for some tooth on the lower right side] but it's nothing major."

Why did none of the other office personal say anything.  Are they blind? Are they not qualified, is it above their pay grade?  Or do they just not know what to look for?  I suppose it is much like life.  We have plenty of people poke and jab us, examine and study us, but none will confidently come to decision or a firm verdict on homos.  Recently I had an acquaintance come-out on Facebook to roughly 1,500 friends.  What did he get?  A bunch of hygienists that keep telling him he is great, or good luck, make sure to floss, you're brave, I'll pray for you and blah blah blah blah.  Does my friend actually think his underlying self-consciouness is going to be solved by telling everybody on Facebook he is gay?  No!  Well, he probably does, but as concerned citizens of the closeted community, I think otherwise.  You may be accepted by your friends and family, but what you really want is the D.D.S. of life to come and say, you're good, carry on!   Well, how do we set this appoint with the Divine Designer of the Sexes?  I want that number!

What I'm shootin' at here, and completely missing, is that the decision to be openly gay is personal.  And in my opinion its a rather sacred decision.  You're dealing with some deeply rooted feelings and your random friends on Facebook should not be invited to party in your emotions.   If you feel the need to tell close friends and family to avoid awkward conversation in the future, that's understandable, but everyone else is not a necessity.  It's giving the rest of us closeted folk a bad name.  So please be a little more tactful in the future.

Anyway, back to the title of this post.  More cavities?  More laughing gas?  Yes please.  It's the best legal high I've experienced (just to be clear, the only high I've experience) it is almost worth not brushing your teeth.  So next time you feel the desire to come out on Facebook just go to the dentist, it's far more enjoyable.


  1. You're right, the decision to come out is a very personal one, and it's different for everyone depending on their circumstances. That said, don't begrudge people who want to live their lives in a completely open and honest way that opportunity.

  2. Thanks for your comment El Genio. I hope not to begrudge. To me, open and honest, is not declaring and announcing. And in this particular situation I feel my facebook friend is doing just that.

  3. I recently had my teeth cleaned after..well...a long time.
    As far as openness, I think it's important, but I personally wouldn't facebook it. That being said, being open with my family has been, while not without challenges, a great relief once it was over.