Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Why I'm Not FAT

I run a lot.  So much so, people worry.  They question my sanity, health, and basic cognitive capabilities.  Usually people look at me much like a child looks at broccoli when they first hear of my exercise habits.  When I meet, shall we say, less enthusiastic runners the conversation generally goes something like this:

Concerned citizen:  "How far did you run?"
Me:  "Oh, about 10 miles."
Surprised citizen:  "Woah. . .uh. . .Why?!"
Me:  "That's all I had time for"  (I've perfected this response)
Shocked citizen:  "How long does it take you?"
Me:  "About 1 hour 15 minutes."
Baffled citizen:  "Gross, why?!"

etc. etc. etc. It's a vicious cycle.

While the exclamatory is almost certain to change the general reaction is quite the same.  Even my family who is accustom to my running still occasionally gives me the child-broccoli stare.  So why do I run? It's simple.  When I was a young hormonal teenager I learned that exercise was supposed be a great channel for that pubescent frustration.  So thats what I did, I ran.  As I grew older and teenage angst turned into outright sexual tension I ran further and faster, yet still on my mission I found more events that left me running with my companions following on bike or in the car.  And when I returned home my inability to find girls attractive turned me into a running machine.  I ran everyday, regardless of the weather or temperature, I was nearly struck by lightning, run over on several occasions, bit by dogs, lost in the mountains, stranded without water, and much more exciting events found their way littered throughout my daily runs.  Let's think for a moment, what else would make you barf in the middle of the road, crap your pants, and run till you experience hematuria?  The correct answer is, homosexuality.  Yes, running was and still is the way I deal with it.  So when people ask me why I run I would love to yell, "BECAUSE I'M GAY!" Instead I leave them perplexed with just a shrug and smile.


  1. Glad to have you back in my feed reader, though sorry to hear about the compulsive running. But as you say, at least it keeps you in shape! Make sure to keep it healthy, though :)

  2. Ha ha, this is fantastic. I'd love to see someone's response if you did tell them it's because you're gay.

    And, yeah, keep it healthy.

  3. Just seeing your blog for the first time. No one else has ever prompted me to try to remember what the term hematuria means. I got the blood part from "hema" but I'd forgot it meant blood in the urine. So, thanks so much for giving me another reason not to take running very seriously.

    I do agree with Steve's earlier comment that you'll have better mental health if you do some writing about your attractions. It's certainly helped me and many others.

    Glad your blog popped up in the mohodirectory. Keep writing. Maybe if you do it enough, it will become a 2nd healthy addiction to go along with your running.

  4. Truce, I'm old enough to be your Dad, so I have this natural inclination to want to give you advice! I also went to BYU, eventually married and have three wonderful grown-up daughters. Living in a mixed orientation marriage is possible, with the right woman, but will always be difficult. Don't do it for the Church, but rather, only if your heart and the Holy Ghost tell you to go for it. My kids went to BYU and hated the constant harassment to find a partner and get married.

    But on to larger issues, such as coming out. In the kindest, fatherly way I know of, I would hope you will find the courage to stop running away from your reality, and deal with the necessary truths of who you are. If you possibly can, start by confiding to your parents the struggle you are faced with. I'm sure they love you, and even if they don't understand or accept your orientation, you will have taken a huge leap forward in self-actualization. These are daunting tasks, but oh so worth the lessons learned, which is why we're here. May the Lord bless you in your endeavors to find peace and understanding.