My best friend is proposing to his girlfriend tomorrow. It is an elaborate scheme which is guaranteed to bring all parties involved to tears. Except me, I don't cry, ever. I'm happy for him, it's an exciting step in his life.
Marriage is doctrinal benchmark most LDS men anxiously look forward to. All the advice and teachings we receive here at BYU are centered around the life changing event of marriage. We are all promised a happiness we can not yet imagine, a love that can withstand the strongest of trials, a life with children that will make us forever stronger in the gospel, a closer relationship with our Father in Heaven and his Son, and most importantly, a place in the celestial kingdom. It sounds exciting, I can't wait!
Oh right, what about me? What about the fat kid and fat-camp that didn't loose any weight? Is he doomed to a diet of twinkies, bacon, and cake for the rest of his gluttonous life? Maybe he can try again next year at Camp Cupcake-Light. Nope, the chances of him seeing his toes again are getting smaller every time he tries [OK that's the end of the fat kid analogy, although I could keep this going a while!]
It's true isn't it? Each time I try and make an effort to date girls and do what my Priesthood leaders counsel me to do, I fall farther from the goal. I get more frustrated, I get angry, and I give up for the next six months. We can always hope that maybe the right girl will come around, smack me up-side the face, and say, marry me you handsome beast you, and it will work out just fine. But that hasn't happened yet. Instead I sit on the sidelines helping everybody else with their amazing proposal, smiling at those that say, "someday you'll be doing this!" or "you just wait!" And that's exactly what I will do, wait for that time that I fear will never come, and pretend it doesn't bother me.
Do I sound bitter? I may, because I might be slightly irked that I don't see any point in the near future where I get to buy a beautiful diamond ring, get down on one knee, and pop the question and watch the reaction of someone who loves me more than anything say, "YES!" Could I find a guy to share that with? I'm sure I can. But, it's not the same. A gay marriage will never bring the same social and religious excitement a traditional marriage would. It would be like the fat kid graduating fat camp because they didn't want him to feel bad and fall into a comatose depression, it's just not the same.
But! no worries, I love my life, and enjoy every day of it. There are many exciting things in my future I'm sure, sometimes I just complain for the sake of complaining. You know, I complain whens it's hot, I complain when it's cold, I complain when it rains, smells, when i'm tiered, or when i'm gay. It's nothing new, I don't expect it to help or change the way I feel, it's just fun to complain. So thanks for reading you all are champions!